Is Silence Really Golden?

When was the last time you kept silent because you felt like what you had to say didn’t matter, or thought someone else could say it better?

YOU, my friend, have insights, perspectives, hard-fought lessons, a complicated history, stories of heartbreak, failure, and redemptive growth and triumphs to share.

I don’t know what caused you to believe all of this was better left unsaid, kept to yourself? BUT, what I know to be true is shame and dis ease thrive when we are stuck in our own heads.

I love what Ann Voskamp said, "shame dies when stories are told in safe places".

Wouldn’t you love to be a part of a community where you and your brave steps forward are celebrated, where your voice can be heard and valued? We are working to create the kind of community where we can live in the wide-open, spacious life together. Holding open the gates to freedom and celebrating as each person finds a solid footing in new and maybe unfamiliar and awkward territory.

You are not alone when it comes to feeling fenced in or stuck in your own head.

The wrestle is real. If you were to visit my head, you would hear at times a very real wrestle. Sometimes I just need to get out of my own head.Break the silence…say it out loud and get another perspective.

“BUT” it feels hard at times because I can easily get in my own way with these nagging thoughts or beliefs:

“They’ve heard it already.”

“I have nothing new to say.”

“It has already been said.”

“What makes you think they want to hear from you?”

“Let her say it. She can say it so much better.”

They say “silence is golden.” Is this really true? They say, “Use your voice.” Why? Does it really matter?

These are some of the restrictive beliefs that could keep me silent and playing small. What are some of yours?

LADIES, SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN.

Our silence can be costly. Those nagging negative beliefs keep you fenced in and cut off from community. I know for me, I can start to feel isolated and a bit overwhelmed with feelings when I am in this headspace. I start to believe some of the most ridiculous things about myself and others. I have a few key people in my life who I trust to help me break the silence with what I call “sanity checks”. It is so important to make sure I have a place to speak out my “crazy making” thoughts. I am grateful for these people in my life. They help me look at reality. The reality of who I am and who I want to be. They help me spot the “lies I am buying” and help talk rational sense into my insecurities, half-truths, and bullying lies. Do you have anyone in your life to do this with?

We all have unique voices and a rich history; even if we are talking about similar things, it is going to come out and across so very differently. I have become convinced slowly but surely that my voice matters even in the sea of voices.

MY VOICE CARRIES WITH IT A DIFFERENT HISTORY, HEALING, AND HEART.

So does yours! Even the same things that we have heard other women say will sound distinctly different as they escape our hearts and minds and intentionally leap from our lips. And you never know when it will help someone else take those brave and purposeful steps into the spacious life God has for them. It can even help you as you gain confidence in discovering more of who you are and own your story.

Sometimes we can keep our thoughts to ourselves because we are concerned about what others will think, and we are not sure we are ready to hear their opinions. You are not alone.

Are there things you have felt prompted to share? Could you share with one person today or this week?

I determined, specifically, the last couple of years… I was going to step into each moment God entrusted me with, using my unique voice to encourage, speak truth, and challenge people to take action to become all that God intended for them to be. It continues to be a wrestle sometimes as I engage the work of busting through these restrictive beliefs and breaking through my self-imposed silence.

Ladies, your thoughts, creative ideas, and stories can be a catalyst for someone else's transformation. What keeps you from sharing?

WHAT COULD CHANGE IF YOU BEGAN TO SHARE THE HOPE THAT LIES WITHIN YOU?

Your unique voice and story matter. My voice matters. Let’s use our voices to point people to hope we can experience right in the middle of our circumstances.

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:5

With love, Tammy

PS - - If you would like to hear more about not letting the opinions of others hold you back. Listen in here: Ep 6-Hope Dud #2- The Boo (Big Opinions of Others)